Say Something
by Ari-Coffee
Summary: How Harry dealt with the lost of his child


The only thing that belongs to me is the plot. The lyrics of the song Say Something belongs to A Great Big World and as we all know Harry Potter belongs to Rowling, Warner Bros, Bloomsbury Publishing and everyone else that has owns a piece of that copyright.

I would suggest listening to Say Something by A Great Big World. Either version works.

* * *

_Say something I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one if you want me to  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I'm giving up on you_

Harry's eyes welled in tears when he felt his husband enter through the floo. Keeping still, Harry continued to pretend to be sleep as he felt the bed dip under his weight. The red numbers of 10:15 pm glared at him mockingly from the permanent tempus on the wall. Feeling him shift closer, Harry closed his eyes. He knew what was coming next it was almost routine now.

Harry felt his husband lightly brush his hair from his cheek before laying a light kiss there. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself Harry. It was no one's fault but Lucius. You couldn't have known that that curse was aimed at her and not you."

Harry only shook as the tears rolled down his face, refusing to acknowledge his husband's claim. It was his fault. He should have known better. He knew that Lucius was still at large. He was negligent and their daughter, their little Evangelia had paid the price.

Seeing that Harry wasn't going to accept the truth, he curled his body around Harry's stiff form and laid another kiss on the back of his neck. "I love you so much Harry, please don't leave me. I wouldn't know what to do it you did." Spooning to Harry's back, he drifted to sleep. Once Harry felt the light puffs of air on his neck, he gave a sad smile as he look at his husband's sleeping face. "You would live." Then he too slipped to sleep.

_And I'm feeling so small  
It was over my head  
And I know nothing at all_

Harry woke with a start; he must have had another nightmare. They lay in a new position; he was being cradled in his husband's lap who was leaning back against the headboard. Not moving, Harry watched the sun as it peeped over the horizon. Anyone else would say that it was beautiful but Harry only saw the reds, remembering the blood that coated his hands as he tried to stop the bleeding. The look in her eyes as she watched her mommy let her life slip through her hands. The screams of people around him as he watched the light in the eyes so similar to his own dull and finally go out.

Choking, Harry began to cry, knowing, rather than feeling his husband start awake and began rocking him all the while murmuring how much he loved him, that it wasn't his fault, it was okay, and everything would get better. After nearly an hour of heart-wrenching tears, Harry slipped back to sleep, emotionally, mentally and physically drained.

_And I will stumble and fall  
I'm still learning to love  
Just learning to crawl_

Harry felt his husband lightly brush his hair from his cheek but didn't leave a kiss like normal. "I'm so sorry Harry you deserve so much more than me." Spooning to Harry's back, he drifted to sleep. Confused by the new action, Harry opened his eyes to stare at the time. 3:45 am. Something nagged at him though he was too tired to notice. His husband shifted and threw his arm over Harry's shoulders.

Harry blinked, numb as he recognized a smell that was out of place on his husband. Tears slip silently down his face, as he realized that it was perfume. He had found someone new. Harry could smell the light scent that the perfume carried, a soft smell of jasmine and honeysuckle. Harry was sadden but not hurt as he thought over the new development and took the little comfort left for him in his husband arms. He knew that he deserved it. That he had let their daughter die. That it should have been him that should have died and not her. Harry felt strangely at peace for the first time in nearly a year.

_Say something I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I'm giving up on you_

Harry watched as his husband packed for his 'trip.' Harry knew that there was no such trip, that he was going to 'her' for the next two weeks. That she had had a child and the anniversary of their child's death was tomorrow. However, Harry kept his bright smile and vacant stare. It wouldn't do to meet the guilty eyes of his husband. Therefore, Harry continued to act the ignorant husband and help his husband get ready for his trip.

After seeing his husband through the floo, Harry collapsed to the floor, letting his glamour drop revealing his gaunt and wasting body. It was starting to take a toll on him to keep up the appearance that everything was okay. Today, he had asked Kingsley for the next month off. Harry was glad that he agreed, so he could escape the pitying stares that he was getting. Whether if it was for his dead child or if it was for the common knowledge that his husband was cheating, Harry didn't care he just wanted to get away from them. Making his way slowly to their bedroom, Harry took out the small snapshot that he had nicked from his husband's desk. It was a picture of 'their' little girl.

Disregarding the tears sliding down his face, Harry removed a second picture that he carried around with him constantly. It was a picture of their little girl. Tiredly he lay on their bed before spelling both images to the canopy so he didn't have to hold the pictures. The little girls could have been twins save their eyes. Both girls took after their mother in regard to eyes but both had their father's hair and nose.

Harry gave in to the pain that was riding him and sobbed. Their little girl would have been turning three tomorrow. If only he had decided to have a birthday party with the family instead of throwing a party at Fortescue's, their little girl would still be here. Harry could feel his nails digging into his arms, drawing blood as he curled smaller into a ball and sobbed.

_And I will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye _

Harry smiled in bliss as he watched the blood drop in to the tub he sat in. Little Kerry had turned 2 three days before and Evangelia would have been five in two days. His husband tried but Harry could see that guilt and anguish that rode him every time he came home. In fact, Harry was sure that he had moved out, though he couldn't remember when. Feeling his thoughts cloud over again, Harry lifted his razor and gave his wrist another slice. The sting sent a spike of euphoria through him and grounding him with the pain. Harry was happy that Hermione, Ron and the rest of the Weasley clan had moved to America saying the Europe wasn't safe for them after Evangelia's funeral. He knew that they were secretly disgusted with him and wanted to get away from him but he didn't mind he was disgusted with him too.

Closing his eyes after another slice, Harry barely noticed Kreacher leaving to get his husband or that his magic surrounds the house in unbreakable wards. He only lived for the freedom that his cutting was giving him. Slice after slice, Harry sought freedom. It was almost as if he was on his broom. Wait scratch that this was better than being on his broom this was like flying.

Slowly the water turned dark red as Harry bled out with a peaceful smile on his face. He never noticed the wards breaking. The splintering of wood and glass as his husband and Aurors alike broke through doors and windows. Or even the cries of "Harry, no!" and "Oh God Harry!" Feeling spell after spell hit him in his chest; Harry opened his eyes to see his husband with tears streaming down his face holding one of his hands to his cheek. Harry could see his mouth moving but didn't hear a word. Harry tried to say that it was okay but his couldn't get his tongue to move so he lightly brushed his fingers against his husband's cheek.

_Say something I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I'm giving up on you_

Harry heard a slight sound over the quiet roar in his ears. Turning his head away from the crying face of his husband, Harry spotted the source of the noise in the corner of the bathroom. He could feel them healing him and forcing blood-replenishing potions down his throat but he kept his eyes on the corner of the bathroom. Harry could feel the tears running down his face. It was his Evangelia. She was dressed in a pleated yellow dress that stopped at her knees. In her hair were yellow ribbons and she was giggling.

"Come on mommy! Grandma, Grandda and Uncle Siri are waiting on us." Harry couldn't believe his eyes. His little girl had come back to him.

"Evangelia?" his voice cracked as he reached out with the hand that his husband wasn't holding, never noticing that he was separating from his body.

His little girl stomped her foot, "Yes mommy! Come on, grandma wants to yell at you for making your husband worry."

Taking a step, Harry could feel something holding him back. Remembering his husband, Harry turned back to see him, crying over his body begging him not to leave him. Harry felt ashamed at the pain he put his husband through the last four years. Turning back to Evangelia, Harry saw wisdom years beyond her age shining out her eyes.

"It's easier this way mommy. Daddy can go and be happy with Kerry and her mommy now. He will be okay I saw it."

Nodding, Harry slipped his hand from his husband's and took his little girls following her to whatever place that she was pulling him too.

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_Say something_

* * *

**_The idea for this one-shot came to me while I was reading a manga called Kaikan Phrase and listening to one of my playlist on Spotify. There is this part in the manga where the band is making a video for their song but can't decide on how. So the main female character says that they act out several different scenes with models but keep their faces in shadows. That way the girls can imagine themselves as the girl in the video with their favorite band member. That is the reason why I didn't give a name to Harry's husband, I want you to input your favorite Harry/?. If you want, you can even tell me whom you added in your review. _**

**_Later,_**

**_Ari_**


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